I feel like giving up.
I feel alone.
I feel like I’m failing.
I feel like I’m falling.
I can’t do anything right.
What is the point?
What is the point in life?
What am I doing here?
Would it be better to just go?
Shall I just give up?
Would it be better if I wasn’t here?
Would people round me be better off?
Why do I do this?
How do I do better?
What do I need to do to be noticed?
Why am I ignored?
How do I get heard?
Does anyone even listen to me?
Does anyone take what I say on board?
Do people actually read my shit?
What do I need to do to become successful?
Is this all there is?
Is this it?
These are the questions and feelings i get alot.
I try hard, I do my best, I’ve not reached my potential.
I don’t get noticed, that’s how I feel.
I’m good at what I do, and I do anything to share the knowledge I have.
I help anyone and everyone, but don’t get much in return.
I put myself out for others, but have to beg for a little assistance.
Am I just a mug?
My failures are remembered, my successes forgotten.
My fuck ups get noticed, my skills get overlooked.
I don’t feel noticed, if I was then I’d be better off.
I’m so much more than I appear, I’m more than you think I am.
I’m whilling to learn, I love to teach.
Do I get overlooked?
I feel I do.
Is it the way I look? Is it because of my stammer? Is it the way I come across? Or is it the stories you have been told?
Whatever it is, you don’t know the real me, if you did then you would allow me to be so much more.
Yeah I may not look the part, maybe not even good looking, I may not be able to communicate like you, I can’t join every conversation, because by the time I actually get my words out the conversation has moved along a little bit, so my comments will be out of place.
I try to be funny, people laugh, I take the piss, but allow you to give it back, it’s called banter. I treat you the same way I treat everyone, I don’t care if you work along side me or precide above me in this pyramid of life, to me your still a person, and I’ll treat you as such.
You may have heard stories about me, but believe me, they are 2nd hand maybe 3rd or 4th, like chinese whispers, stories change. Hear my side before you judge me.
You can say what you want, my walls are high. You have to be someone very special to knock it down, I find it hard to trust, but you can always trust me, I know what it’s like to be stabbed in the back it’s not nice, so I couldn’t donit to you.
If I got something to say I’ll say it to your face too.
You don’t know me, like you think you do.
You can’t read me, like I can you, I’ve met all sorts, and handled them all.
I hide my true self, until you have my full trust, and that takes a lot.
My story is long and deep, you wouldn’t believe the shit I’ve been dealt, but guess what? I’m still standing, tall and strong.
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