Reminiscing some old blogs, I opened up again, I been slacking and closing up, but I’m back.

Hey peeps, so Tuesday is here.

I didn’t blog yesterday, it was a long drive home, then work was tiring, not busy just tiring after a week off then being on my feet all day I was aching like a bitch. So I went straight to bed after work.

Today Spain face Italy, it should be a good match, I’m rooting for spain, as I don’t fancy facing Italy in the final. They play dirty at times.

Tomorrow is another big match for England so let’s hope they can do it.

I’ve had some time with Panda today, god I missed that kid. After a week of only talking to him over the phone, it was awesome to actually see him and cuddle him.

He always makes my day, even on day like today before it’s actually started.

I’m going to hate moving away from him, but it’s still got to be done. Further decisions will be made by September, there are certain circumstances that will seal the deal. So I’ll keep you updated about that, and how it’s going.

In other news, I may have another blogger dping some blog’s to host here, so that will be cool.

So I would like to hear from you all, please comment, I have noticed I’m getting less people visit and comment, I just hope I’m not doing anything wrong, maybe I’m becoming boring, I don’t know haha.

It can be disheartening when I look and the views and visitors and likes and comments are very low. They were going in the high numbers, but they seem to have dwindled. Maybe I’m getting repetitive, or actually am boring, let me know, I do take on amy criticism, I’m still technically new so any advise will be appreciated.

Maybe I’m just being stupid, maybe I’m just taking it too personal, you see I do worry about not being liked. I’m not an attention seeker, I guess I just have a low self esteem, maybe it’s the way life has always been for me, maybe it’s just the person I am, maybe I’m just being a muppet.

I just love when I know my blogs are being enjoyed, it makes it feel worth it, helps make it feel like I’m doing something good.

Even though I’m only writing words, it just feels amazing knowing I’m a part of your life, even if I just make you smile once today, it’ll make everything feel good.

There have been a few times I’ve thought, fuck it and nearly given up blogging, some days I see the numbers drop so much I think “what’s the point?”

But then I remember why I started doing this, it was to get the shit out of my head and let go of stuff. Even though sometimes I talk a load of shit or some things that seem minuscule, but getting it out on the screen, getting it out of my head just helps free up my mind.

That’s why I do this, and the views, visitors, likes and comments are a massive bonus.

My stuff gets read or it don’t, but for me it’s a release, even when I’m just randomly talking about my life, or how my day has been. It could be classed as a diary, but let’s just keep calling it a blog eh? Sounds better.

I’ve not done a deep deep blog for ages, like these ones for example, as well as many others,

I guess I’ve closed up a little bit, I tend to do that, I don’t like to show that side of me too often, and I don’t like to show how “weak” I am, but in reality I’m not “weak”, I got through all that shit and I’m proud of it. That’s why I wrote them down.

I mean I done this blog a while ago,

and well it felt good to get it out and I sure as hell hope it has helped others.

I’ve been struggling with blogging the past few weeks, I’ve been feeling I’ve opened up too much, maybe people think I’m a drama queen, but then I remember the feedback I get from them, and the support and good feelings and freedom in my head I get, after letting it out, feels amazing.

Just the relief that feels lifted after doing such blogs is like a weight has been lifted. I’ve also been told they have helped people open up more, and encouraged people to show their so called “weak” side.

Shit it’s not weak to show you struggle sometimes, it’s not weak to show you are human, it’s definitely not weak to open your mouth and talk to someone.

Fuck me sideways, I’m still struggling with my mental health, it doesn’t feel like it some days, but now and then it hits me hard, then I start thinking too much then I spiral, but that’s why my blogs havent been very deep and thoughtful for a while. I close up and I struggle to open up to anyone, I feel I can’t talk to anyone about it, even though I know that support is there, I have loved ones who will listen and help any way they can.


Wow this blog was a stuggle, I wasn’t even going to open up like this, but yet again it flowed, I started to open up and it feels damn good.

All I want to say peeps is everyone struggles, but don’t struggle alone.

Also as I said in a previous blog, WE ARE ALL ALONE, BUT WE ARE ALONE TOGETHER.



Categories:Rob's Blog

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