Hey peeps, I hope your all good.
Were half way through the week, although it feels like it’s going slow this week. It’s usually flying by.
It’s all good. Yesterday at work was a good day, although I was doing defects on someone elses service, changing the bottom hose for the radiator.
Although it was emptied I still got a bit wet, hey it happens don’t it?
Then I got a breakdown for the exact same thing. Yeah I had to gobout and change the bottom radiator hose on a another truck.
The driver was a mechanic doing 4 on 4 off at his garage, but on his days off he drives a truck for an agency.
He was sound and took the hose off and diagnosed it before I even left work so that meant I didn’t have to take any unnecessary parts. Which was cool.
Not everything is great in life at the moment, as you can probably tell I’m not putting my 100% into my blogs. I’m loving it still so don’t worry.
The reason I’m not 100% is because my son’s nan isn’t well. She’s not going to make it I’m afraid.
It’s horrible and not a nice feeling as many know. She is my son’s mum’s nan. Although not a direct link to me, I still know her very well. I mean I’ve known her most my life really, and she’s the nicest person you will ever meet.
The main problem im facing is, how the hell do I tell my son when the time comes. How do you actually tell a 7 year old kid with autism his nan is going to heaven?
Put it this way, he watched a cartoon film about a flood when it rained too much (something like noahs ark) and he was petrified of the rain for months. He takes everything literally.
Now his mum has explained to hin that she will be taking the heaven train to visit her mother. The thing with that is as I said he takes things literally, so I’m worried he will be scared to get onto a train if he ever needs too.
It’s hard to explain to any child that they are loosing someone they know as it is, but with a child with autism it’s a bit more difficult.
It’s the cycle of life, everyone has to get there in their own way, now that sounds heartless but I don’t mean it that way, it’s upsetting and heartbreaking.
It also brings back memories of my grandad, so I’m emotuonal as fuck.
That being said I’m on call for when it happens, no matter what I’m doing I’m going to be ready to go pick up my son so his mum can go say her last goodbyes, I’m not going to let my kid see his nan like that, no kid should see that, he needs his lat memories of her to be happy ones. The same goes for the funeral, no kid whatsoever should be at a funeral. So I’ll be there to look after him for that too.
My boss has already said it’s fine and I’ll still get paid so that’s not a problem at all. Even if it was I wouldn’t care my son comes 1st, and nothing and noone will ever get in the way of that.
So yeah I’m going through an emotional time peeps, so if my blogs aren’t as amazing as they should be I apologise.
That being said, I won’t stop, the blogs will still keep coming, I still need to write and get thing’s out of my head.
It’s just tough being an adult, when your young you see the adults around you and you think these people are going to be here forever, they are invincible. Your parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, brothers and sisters, are going to be in your life forever they aren’t going anywhere, they are all your heroes, your stuck with them for life.
Then you get older, you start loosing people, you have to start saying final goodbyes, you get les and less people round you, you have less people to turn too. You become more independent because the ones who you depended on start making the journey to their next life.
It’s fucking heartbreaking, it really is, but it’s the cycle of life.
They may be gone or going, it’s the most inevitable thing in every life. You can be certain of 2 things in life.
Your born and you pass away.
Everything else in between is just the adventure and the ride between these 2 events.
On the other hand, yeah your loosing people, but your also gaining people too. As you loose the people you thought would be there forever, your gaining people you never thought you’d have.
It’s not a trade, it’s not evil, and sure as hell isn’t wrong.
You will have people coming into the world who depend on you, they will think your invincible, they will think your here forever, they will see you as heroes.
You become the people you loose.
It’s simple, you just become the people you loose, in the fact of, the younger generatuon who depend on you will see you the way you see the older generation. Thus you become them.
You see one dsy your kids and your families kids will be going through what you do. Only difference is your the ones they will be loosing.
Maybe I could have put that in a better way but you know me, I just type and go.
It is true, and the same will happen to your kids and their kids and so on. As I said it’s the cycle of life.
All that being said, it’s all about the journey between these 2 major steps in life. It’s about the stories you create, the memories you leave with others, the impression you leave behind for the next generation, your memory will live on no matter what. Just like your lost ones, their memories will live on with you and the stories you tell.
Live your life people, live it right, live it to the max, and love those around you. You will make mistakes on this long journey, you will do things right, you will meet others treat them right, you will loose others, keep their memory alive, you will create others, show them the way.
You life matters in more ways than you know, make it count, be remembered for the right things.
Love those around you, and let them love you back.
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