Hey peeps, blog number 100 is here, wow it’s shocking I’ve done this many. Ok so I wanted to do something special so I’m going to do a competition on the next blog. For now I thought this below might make you think a little but also make you laugh.

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on ‘insufficient funds’ when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an ‘S’ in the word ‘lisp’?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up every two hours?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder…….
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?’

Who was the first person to say, ‘See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s ass.’

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their ass when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs !

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Ok stop singing and checking they do and read on……

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Hope you enjoyed them.

It’s half way through the week peeps, so half way there once again. Yesterday was a tough day for me, but luckily the workshop controller sent me out on a breakdown, it was pretty far out so it was a lovely drive and the breakdown wasn’t a tough one so I enjoyed that too and then the drive back was awesone too. It gave me time to clear my head so that was a good thing. So yesterday was looking up to be a bit of a bitch but turned out to be just fine. Also the lads were all sound and made sure I was ok, what more could I ask for eh?

THANK YOU FOR READING PEEPS, MAKE SURE TO SUBSCRIBE, LIKE, SHARE WHEREVER YOU CAN, INTRODUCE YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND WANDER ROUND THE WEBSITE,CHECK OUT MY OTHER BLOGS, AND KEEP COMING BACK.

THEPLAINANDSIMPLEGUY

Categories:Rob's Blog

Tags: blog, blogging, competition, jokes, thank you, thanks, think, work